Notes of a Dream: The Authorized Biography of A R Rahman was launched on Saturday, and at the event, Rahman spoke about the difficult phase of his life where he had lost his father, was contemplating suicide and how his musical equipment had to be rented out. A R Rahman’s father, RK Shekhar, a film composer, passed away when Rahman was just nine. And in times of those difficulties, the family had to rent his equipment to survive.
While talking about also what transpired post his father’s death, he said how he wanted to commit suicide at 25 and that the feeling about not being good enough was prevalent just like in most of us. He also stated how his father’s absence had created a void in his life. He also reveals that he couldn’t do many movies because of his father’s death and the way he worked. He mentioned how he had got 35 films and he did merely 2.
Before making his debut in his 20s, Rahman had reinvented himself by embracing Sufi Islam, as a part of which he also let go of his name, Dileep Kumar. While he said how he wanted to get rid of the baggage, and also his name, which he thought did not go well with his personality.
Rahman also spoke about how he prefers to work during early mornings or late in the night solely because he has to manifest what he is and then let it out.
Notes of a Dream: The Authorized Biography of A R Rahman is written by Krishna Trilok and was launched in association with Landmark and Penguin Random House.